Some Thoughts on Tom and Time

    If you're a lifelong Patriots fan and have never had a psychedelic experience, yes you have. On March 17, 2020 at 8:44 AM EST, Pats Nation collectively slipped into what can only be described as a "bad trip." In unison we read aloud the words "Forever a Patriot", our brains experiencing the same chemical release as that of a wolf cub curling up in the warm embrace of it's mother. As we attempted to swallow our lower intestines back down our throat, our pace quickened. We scanned the next several lines Tom spent thanking the organization. He's retiring? No no no no that's not right.

"Although my football journey will take place elsewhere..."

We froze. Doubled back. Read it again. And then it happened.  A dull and hollow pop, like the snap of a bamboo branch. Our eyes glazed over. Space and Time ceased to exist. A shit eating grin tugged at the corners of our lips. We let out a noise we had never made before, a noise that turned to a laugh we had never laughed before. It was so plainly obvious. We were tripping balls.

Since that fateful day, this psychedelic event has manifested itself with bizarre visuals and hallucinations. We laughed that same deep laugh when Roberto Gronkowski was traded from a CBD company to join Tom on the Buccaneers. We laughed deeper still at the audacity, the sheer nerve of this alternate reality, when Antonio Brown followed suit. We watched with eyes that looked but did not see as Tom donned a silly gray red costume. It was all there. The dimple chin. The perfect throwing motion, refined to perfection over the past two decades. The PHD of Quarterbacking, acing the test he had all the answers for. But it wasn't real. It couldn't be.

But seriously, all joking and SchtickTok aside, isn't this pain beautiful? Max Kellerman's infamous 2016 cliff prediction is the most recognized "Brady is in decline" cold take. But those frigid takes began as early as the second Super Bowl loss to the Giants. Decline? That's not what these eyeballs saw. For as long as I can remember I have been spouting to anyone that will listen that Tom's replacement is probably still in middle school. That you can look at his potential "deteriorating" skills the same way you'd look at a knuckleballer. When the arm goes, so does he. 

It's been awesome to watch his Imperial March continue on. True, there are moments where it feels like watching an ex lover fall in love with someone new. But as an almost 30 year old man, I'm mature enough now to understand you only know you love her when you let her go. 

If you read this far instead of switching back to Tiktok, I love you. Be back soon.